“Looking at Jenna Jameson’s Twitter feed, she has a ton of pictures on there of her kids. while looking at those happy little faces, I can’t help but smile and think, ‘I’ve seen your mom swallow hundreds of your almost siblings.’” - Lester H. Hoffa

Dude… Seriously? We can’t have nice things. I got to dress up like an idiot with my girlfriend last night and go see an amazingly awesome movie. Then instead of waking up to read all the sweet reviews and check out other photos of nerds dressed up I get to read a 14 page report about how some stupid dick-burger threw gas canisters into a theatre of 300 people enjoying The Dark Knight Rises and then proceed to open fire on them killing 12 and injuring however many. Fuck you and everyone like you ruining it for normal turds like me who can appreciate and enjoy things. I hope the 3 month old (or 6 year old. Or both) wounded survivor grows up, bulks up, mans up (regardless of gender), suits up (vigilante hero style) and unleashes an insanely respectful, revenge ass whopping on your sorry ass, brother. Seriously. I’m sorry Colorado.

A superhero movie will never be the same. Security is already changing at every theatre across America. So take off the batmask, sadly. But put on an American flag cape and go see an awesome movie with pride and respect… God damn it.

Zane LaRue

http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2012/07/suspect_in_colo_batman_shootin.html